She's walking down a hallway. She dosn't quite know why, but the hallway is familiar to her. She looks from side to side at the rooms as she goes along. Some, she can tell, have big windows inside letting the sun shine in the room. One room in particular has a little girl in a sundress twirling around the room, singing softly. She wants to stop and go in & dance with the girl but her feet keep moving forward underneath. As she continues to walk something inside of her starts to churn. It dosn't want to walk farther; it's like the inside of her is screaming to go back, to go back to the little girl or to the rooms with the big windows and the sun's rays. But she knows she must go on. So she continues to walk.
She finally stops infront of a door. It's different than the other doors; something about it feels guarded. It has a big "KEEP OUT" sign and many locks on the outside. The girl is taken aback. But she knows what's behind that door. It's up to her to allow it to be opened.
Then all of a sudden a man appears beside her. He looks familiar. Like he's been here before. Just never infront of this door, never in front of this one. He's in a shinning white robe that seems to be so beautifully shinning. She suddenly feels at ease. She smiles at Him. She know's who He is, she's well aware of His life, of His mission. But all of a sudden she becomes shy because He smiles back at her. She averts his gaze so He can't see the insecurity that she hides, she dosn't want to be hurt. At that instant she feels a hand grab hers. She looks down at it, and it's being held by HIS! His peirced hand. She slowly looks up at Him, knowing what's behind the door and whispers, "Ok, I'm ready." The locks fall to the ground and she reaches out and turns the handle. The door opens. She holds her breath as they walk in together.
The room is filled with hurtful words, of hurtful names that were onced flung at her. They are all too familiar to her. There are memories of days on end of not eating more than a few apples, and when she did eat it was the smallest of portions. There are moving pictures, ones that she would see in a Harry Potter book, of a girl looking into a miror and seeing nothing but fat. There are nights of feeling so lost and feeling so ugly & that she is worth nothing. It's like all of these thoughts and memories are flashing before her mind. She wants to go back, wants to run back as fast as she can. The hand holding hers tightens and she looks up and He is still right there holding her hand. Encouragement returns to her. So she keeps watching. She see's this girl telling herself all of these mean things & hardening her heart so she dosn't have to feel the pain. So she dosn't have to go through the pain anymore! So she dosn't have to set herself up for heartache, because she is so freakin sure that the pain will come if she let's her guard down. And the pain is too much for the girl. She falls to her knees sobbing, her whole body heaving.
She feels a hand stroke her hair. She slowly looks up, broken, eyes red and pufffy & there He is, looking down on her lovingly, ready to show her a romance that she has never before imagined. He says, "Come, it's going to be alright. Let me heal what's been broken. Let me make soemthing new in the old." He holds out his hand. She takes it, truly captivated by Him and completely and utterly trusting in Him. She stands to her feet.
Edit://
I dunno. I hate the feeling. Vulnerability. Idk, I'm not good at that feeling. But I'm keeping it because it's stretching me. It makes me go 'ouch' everytime I read over it because it has so many meanings behind it and so many truths between me and the girl. It's healing me, because I know it's there. I think it's better to go ahead and feel. I'm ready for the upcomming events. I hope they build me so incredibly much & I can feel lighthearted and be me.
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