What does happiness even mean? Like, I am not trying to be a sorrow bearer, but right now I'm just bleh. Like, really? Life isn't supposed to be a roller coaster right? It's not supposed to be: one day you're "happy" or whatever that means and the next day you have this weight in the bottom of your heart and you don't know how to get it out & you are about to be pummeled with a cascade of sorrow, but you don't want to get swallowed in it so you go about your business like you always do. And then you sigh, and your whole day is full of so many sighs that go unheard because you just find yourself...lacking.
What does happiness even mean? Is it based on the people in your life? Is it based on the feelings those people give you? Is it based on your circumstances? I am really asking those questions not in a way to make you feel like I am looking at you with judgemental eyes, but through the eyes of someone who just doesn't get it. What does it mean?? I don't know.
I feel like I'm not really apart of it. I'm looking at everyone else's lives, like mine doesn't matter. I'm seeing everyone's choices, from personal choices to choices that will impact their future and I'm looking at everyone's plans for their future and I'm just like, "alright, cool. good for you." But I'm just left...lacking.
And maybe it's because I'm lacking in my quiet times with God. I'm looking for everything in this world to bring me some kind of happiness. Yes, I sit knowing God's there and knowing I want to do His will, but I'm still looking to everything else to bring me this happiness that everyone talks about so much.
Alright - Bible verses -
Psalm 27:13-14 (New International Version)
13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
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Proverbs 16:3 (New American Standard Bible) -
Commit your works to the LORD and your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:3 (New International Version)
3Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:3 (New Living Translation)
3 Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:3 (Today's New International Version)
3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do and he will establish your plans.
Proverbios 16:3 (Reina-Valera 1995)
3 Encomienda a Jehová tus obras y tus pensamientos serán afirmados. (and this one's just for kicks)
2 comments:
Maybe happiness is just a feeling
and joy a realization.
Just like love isn't a feeling
but a commitment.
I don't have answers anymore, just that precious faith.
I'm analyzing my life and myself and my heart as of late.
I missed youth porque: I'm helping out at JMC (my old church) a lot lately. I haven't left you guys.
i think rachel is right.
i am glad we are about to go on that cruise because i want to spend time with you and i want to hear your heart and i know that we have a strange relationship that tends to be sometimey but we really do have things in common that i love and i'm just really ready to spend some one-on-one time with you and ashton for a week.
and i feel you, girl, in this blog. it's good.
and my word is wherd. bahahaha, it reminds me of "word", only gangster.
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