During these last couple of days I've had this image in my head that I can't get out. It's of this little girl, wearing a pretty sundress twirling around in this beautiful meadow filled with pretty flowers that sing in vibrant colors underneath a rich blue sky full of fluffy white clouds. (but of course. :P) She is twirling and dancing without a care in the world. I mean, yeah, she's had to climb some mighty hills and she's had to shed a tear or two after falling on her knees, but hey, she's come out better from it. Her attention to memory is that of a goldfish, what's done is done, and now, she dances. She twirls, skips, and lays on her back looking up at the beautiful sky above her, and doesn't have a care in the world. To add to her delight, out of the corner of her eye she spots a butterfly. It's gorgeous: with different shades of purple and blue, and a little hint of red to really catch her eye! (hey! this is my image! :P) She jumps to her feet and her childlike anticipation quickens as she sets her mind up for the chase. She is ready for adventure and she wants that butterfly! In her mind she braces herself: "Ready, Set, GO!" And she's off! She started to run after the butterfly but soon found out that it was just too quick for her! She'd stop to put her hands on her knees and catch her breath, while she watched the butterfly nestle onto a flower. Then she'd try to sneak up on the butterfly, but it soon found her out and started flying! She was extremely disappointed and started to pout. She could see it a little less than 10 feet away from her perched on another flower. She was discouraged at the fact that she just wasn't quick enough! She bet that if her older brother (who she happened to adore) was there, he could do it! But no, he wasn't there. So she sat with a big humph, sitting cross-legged and putting her elbows to her knees and her chin in her hands. It just wasn't fair! But then, she had an idea! What if she sat real still and quiet and just waited?!?! Maybe the beautiful butterfly would come! So she sat, shot a prayer up to Heaven, eyes squinted shut really tight and nose wrinkled in concentration. After a few minutes of waiting, she felt something tickle her nose. She slowly opened her eyes and the butterfly was right on her nose! She couldn't believe it! But she instantly remembered what her brother had teased her about. He said her eyes would go cross-eyed if they stayed like that! She definitely didn't want that, but she was head-strong, if only for that moment! She didn't dare move the rest of her body, but ever so slightly she inched her finger up to the edge of her nose. She had never been that concentrated and that determined in her life! She was quite proud of herself, but had no time to think of congratulations! She had a butterfly to catch, or if only to hold! Slowly, her finger made it up to the brink of her nose and she prayed that the butterfly would take to that finger. Surprisingly (this is my story! :D) the butterfly went right to the finger and let her pull it away from her face to gaze at it in adoration. It was so beautiful and she learned a couple good lessons that day. She learned that if she was till and waited good things would come to her AND that her brother was wrong when he said that if you cross your eyes they would stay like that! Hmph! She had a lot to talk about when she got home (or woke up)!
Lol, so the ending is cheesy, but oh well. :) I think you got the gist of it. That scene (not in that much detail and not with all those series of events) kept playing in my mind over the past few days. It feels like I'm that girl and God and all these life lessons and BAM moments is the butterfly. I'm forever grabbing and reaching for the little lessons that God will show me, and reconfirmation of what I know, that I don't stop and just wait. As soon as I do, it hits me like a ton of bricks...or a feather, but none the less, I'm left knowing a little bit of something. Most of the time I feel like I'm swinging and trying to catch something, swinging my arms trying to grasp onto it and put it all together and figure it out, but then I just stop and sit in the grass and the flowers and wait. And it comes. It sure comes. The confirmation and the ease. The little weird God moments and the Hand on my shoulder that says, "Hold tight, you're on the right track. Keep moving forward. I'll strengthen you when you have to climb those hills [mountains] and I'll wipe away your tears when you fall to your knees (out of your own fault or in worship). I have a beautiful butterfly[life, story, lesson, etc,] for you yet!"
And there are tons of lessons I can get out of that story just right now that I hadn't thought of before: heck, half of that paragraph up there was stuff that I hadn't thought of before! Differences from child to young adult, a brother not there, meadows and dreams, the future and the present, etc. etc. But I think "Be Still" is being said the loudest for me.
Totally a side note, yet apart none the less: I love prayer and amazing speakers who have been there and who confirm that you're not a crazy head, and it's gonna be okay. And worship that holds repetition in it because that's OK, it gives you more time to think about the words and really start to pray...I just love not having to chase and strive...I love just being and realizing and learning and growing and as soon as doubt enters your brain you are reminded and i just love not caring about grammar and my future and if I'm good enough or pretty enough and that he lifts my head and run on sentences and writing and typing and friends and summer and Him - because my whole life is because of Him and for Him and the reasons for my every decision is for Him, and that's why. That's why I'm a crazy head and that's why I get mildy (in the grand scheme of things) hurt and restored.
1 comment:
Excellent!
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