mm..life. every aspect of it.

A lot, a lol, a lot is going through my brain right now.

I drove, I did. Aha. I drove all the way to the church and back, and around a bunch of neighborhoods. I get the whole driving thing, my dad says, 'great' I do something stupid like almost run off the road(ok, not really) or hit a mailbox, my dad uses his military voice. I cry. Cause I'm all emotional and I'm a girl. hahaha. :) But I didn't hit anyone and only one car beeped at me. (haha, because I don't know how to stay at a constant speed and I guess that gets drivers mad or something...) ..Yeah, I know. I'm freaking 17! ;) But in my defense I did pretty darn well for not driving in over a year..I think it's been that long.

mmmm...prayer walk. It was amazing. Going door to door in Clayton will be amazing. Scary...scary in the worst way for me..but amazing. It's like SWAT (Students With A Testimony). I want something like SWAT. But that means I need to open up to these people. I love these new people I've met. I just gotta open up more. And I need to destroy fear. The fear that Satan knows he can attack me with, because it's a weakness of mine.

Epic. God's showing He's about ready to do some crazy amazing stuff everywhere. That's why Satan's been attacking me a lot more lately. In silly ways, like when Ashley tells me I have been looking like I've been glowing and stuff like that and so I'm pretty happy and then the next day I break out. And then in the bigger ways..

Crazy Horse burned down. :) Hehe, I don't mean to have a glee on my face, I feel bad for the people that work there and that being their income - but it's funny because some people (one in particular really close to me) prayed that it would burn down when no one was in it every day they drove by it. And it did. It did exactly that.

We have praises and we have prayers. I've been reading about the couple in which the wife struggles with cystic fibrosis and it is breaking my heart and really touching it. They were going to have her undergo a lung transplant because of her condition but had to cancel it because they found out she was pregnant. So by c-section they delivered their baby at 24 weeks at 1lb 6 ounces! Their strength is amazing. Please, please keep them in your prayers! Something he wrote that touched me -

"This is a story of Hope in the future, Joy for the present and Blessings for the past. It is a story of a God Who takes a left turn just as you are moving right, Who shows you the mountain top while others see the valley, Who never leaves nor forsakes you, and Who is bringing you to a destination that is unfathomably beyond anything you could have desired for yourself."

I don't really feel like blogging today. I just feel like being messy. Bottom line - God's showing me that He can use all of us far more than we ever realized. That this life is so precious, only a breath long, and for us to take it that way. I only have 52 weeks with my 4th and 5th grade girls a year. Only 52 weeks to pour into them. Yeah, maybe I could get their phone numbers. Maybe I could give them a call here and there (I actually had thought about that, but the numbers are so big now) but bottom line, they look at me. For 52 days out of a year. What kind of impact am I making on them? Can they see how much time I've spent in the curriculum the week before? Can they tell when I havn't really looked at it and I'm struggling to hold on? What do they see on those times? Ah, I just love those girls. I'm so excited! I want to touch their lives even if I just spin with them and pretend we're butterflies and the boys look at us like we're dumb. (:

Life - the way God can lead us, the way our future is completely blurry to us and we can't seem to understand where it's going to take us, but we trust in God, because it's so much more beautiful that way. I'm really excited about life. About it's possibilities, about what life may throw at me. Yes, even weightlifting, I'm excited (ok, it may be stretching it) even for that. Stretching myself. Going past what I think I can do, and trusting God with what He knows I can do. hm. (: