Which life will you choose?

Tonight I went to see Dark Knight with Sarah, Ryan, and some of their friends. It was actually a blind date for Ryan because pretty much couples were going and they had a girl for him. Lol, so it was gonna be awkward for me and Sarah to go, but I really wanted to see it. My mom was freaking out, and we all had a huge laugh before we went because she was afraid that we'd get set up with guys at the last minute and they'd be creeps or whatever, she listed off all that could happen and blah blah blah, lol. Stories of when she was young with blind dates and how she got set up with a guy that was deciding if he should go into priesthood or not, bahahaha, that's an entirely different story though. :D My aunt threw in how she met Uncle Rick by a blind date. That went over well. :D Anyways, I was laughing my head off saying, "But mom, I'm a goood kid! You know I wouldn't do anything bad like that." And she was like, "Careful, as soon as you say you're a good kid, that's when Satan can get at you, because you feel a little too sure of yourself." Of course, that's not what I meant, but yeah, lol. She was like, "I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about the guys you're going with." They are in mine and Sarah's grade and went to her school, some of the boys. Well, before we left Ryan said how they invited us to their pool afterwards. That was a huge NO NO for my mom and my aunt and uncle, for Sarah and I anyways. I didn't care much and neither did Sarah because we didn't know the people, but I threw in a couple, "Par-taay"'s just to get my mom started. :P I'm such a good daughter.

So we went, made a run to Starbucks before, and met them in the movie theatre. Ryan's date was kinda rockish, she was a friend of Ryan's friend's girlfriend. They had both moved only like three weeks before. Ryan's friend and his girlfriend had met in their neighborhood, they live close to each other. It was awkward as I thought it'd be. There was one guy who was single, who, excuse me for saying this, was rather attractive (instead of using something that would lead to butter rachel), ahahaha. And we were matching, bahaha. But they weren't very outgoing, the guys, and I had my shy face on, plus it wasn't like I was supposed to be fixed up with him, so it was awkward, lol. I wish I was more outgoing, lol, it would have been fun. (I did freak out during the movie, I wonder what they thought, hahaha.) (And I promise, this has a point! lol.)

As we were watching the previews this thought entered into my mind. "I wouldn't mind going to the pool afterwards." As soon as I thought it I was in shock. Lol, my mom was right. It's when you are so sure of yourself that Satan can leak those thoughts into your mind. I've just always been the good girl, I don't mind it, but I just have. I get worried sometimes that because I have, the wonder of what it would be like any other way will take over. As I was thinking about it I knew what would be at that pool. Nothing good. They were all couples after all, and by the look in the guys' eyes you could just tell. And the girls looked the same. So I knew I didn't REALLY want to go to it, but part of me, this little corner inside thought I'd like to just be there, not doing anything illegal or w/e, haha, but just be there. And I started to think about the conversation I had with a friend and began to think about what I've been thinking the last couple of days, that I don't want that. No matter how much it seems intriguing and how people think it's such a marvelous life, I don't want it. I'm here to say right now that I don't want any part of it. The one girl asked me why we didn't want to go over to the pool, and I didn't really know what to say. I didn't want to say, "oh my parents don't want me to." because that's lame, lol. And I didn't want to say, 'I'm not into that stuff." because I didn't want to offend them and they think that I was just assuming that they are like that. Ryan just said, "They're not into partying." And they laughed, so yes, assumptions made true. lol.

After the movie they kept bugging Ryan to go to the girl's pool. I guess he mentioned seeing if he would and dropping us off first. We were leaving and the guy that matched me held the door open. Well see, it was movie theatre doors so there was a few doors. There was a little boy who was holding one door where everyone was going, and then that guy (Id even know his name! baha.) held open another, I was at an angle behind him and he had just gone through. I wasn't really in the traffic to go through the door of the little boy's so I should have taken the one where the guy was holding it open, but I'm silly and you guys know me, I didn't want it to seem like I was the only one taking that door so I scoooted in with the rest of the masses going out that door. He let his door go. :/ lol, I feel bad, but it's whatever. I'm never gonna see him again in my life. I assume that guy was a good guy unlike the rest, lol, just because of that and because Ryan said he was deaf, which I was like, how in the world did he watch that movie?!? (This part has nothing to do with what I'm writing about, I'm just a girl who spills her heart out a bit too much in the blogging world, lol.)

As we were driving home I asked Ryan about if he wanted to go and stuff and how I didn't think he should. He's a teaser, so he said, "You don't think they'd be doing good things there?" And I was just like, "Well let's just say I couldn't picture them having a nice Christian party." This whole thing just kept making me realize who I am and who I'm not planning to ever be. It makes me realize so much more that even though that stuff seems like it would be fun and in some people's words "totally worth it." I'd much rather have Jesus fulfill that role. I think about all of you guys (because I assume you read this, lol.) and think about how much of a kick butt time I have with all of you, and we don't need to get high or drunk or other things to have a great time. We have an amazing time together AND WE REMEMBER IT! ahahaha, that makes me the most happy. People may look at me weird because I don't do the things that 'everyone' does, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. My mom told me that my dad said he was amazed at my birthday party, because we were having such a GREAT time and he realized that kids could have that much of a good, relaxed, hyper time without being drunk, high, or out of their mind. AND we don't get headaches afterwards! :D What's better is that I feel like you guys are my family and not a lot of people can say that with their party friends. We're growing together and we're building each other up and we're having a stinkin' GREAT time doing it! Aha, no I don't think I'd choose a different life, that's for sure. :)