Do you ever wish time would freeze?

Yeah. November is coming to a close way too fast and December is creeping up at me with terror. I feel like my paper is so...eh, I don't even know, but I don't think it's really good. The product part is at a standstill. I went through a period where I was so apathetic about the senior project that I just stopped thinking about it. Up to the end of October I was right on top of things, even ahead of others. Then I went into an apathetic feeling. Now, I have to shake it. The middle of November with exactly a month until Board's night where I will be presenting my final project: December 15. So so scary. My product isn't done. I just video taped. I hope once I start editing it, it will fall into place, but I don't know, it's freaking me out. I know that I know that I know that it's in God's hands, but it's still freaking me out. Once it's over I think I'll let Senioritis take over permanently, haha. But until then I will fight it with everything inside of me. My whole future is kind of stressing me out actually. Wilmington? No Wilmington? JCC? China?? Thailand?? YWAM?? A bum on the side of the road?? ha. :D I think the hyperventilation is in part due to the fact that I only applied to one college, scared of opening any other doors. My heart's prayer has been asking Him what He wants me to do and I'm waiting on it, scared silly. I almost wish I didn't let people in on the fact that I was applying to Wilmington, especially since I don't think I'll get in (how pessimistic of me). Ah, this is way too honest of a post! ha!

I want to try to eat healthier. And cut back on fast food.

On a happy note I'm almost done with New Moon (sequel to Twilight)! :) I just bought it two days ago. I was hesitant with the books at first. While I was reading the first book I was wondering if I should be reading it (so much romance for my waiting heart to take, ha), but there is so much symbolism and parallelism, and things I've taken out of both of them that I can't put it down and the sadness that I get after putting it down is easily overlooked. I don't have high expectations for the movie, but maybe it'll surprise me. I forgot how much I love reading. I keep looking at the book as I'm working on my paper and writing this, itching to read it, haha, but I mustn't. :) EDIT:: I'm done with the book! wooo! super good! :)

And now I don't know what else to write. Back to the horrid paper. (This feels way too xanga of me)