I've been thinking a lot about this season of my life. I really feel like this season is a time where God is testing my faithfulness to Him. I laugh at how God works because my mind goes back to the Tuesday, Chapel service held at the HA at the start of my Honor Academy year. I can't specifically remember why some interns went to the front to kneel and why the staff was asked to pray for them, but I do remember I was there and I was being prayed over by Melissa King. That woman is anointed by God!! I am telling you - and she lives out that anointing! I remember one phrase she used, "Let this be a year where you teach her your faithfulness and also teach her to be faithful to you." This past year truly was that. He taught me so much about how much He loves me, me. He taught me who I am in Him, and how He is so faithful with our needs! Thank God I journaled because I could kick myself for not blogging about all the faithfulness He has shown me this past year. We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony, after all!
And I feel like in this season He is beginning to test my faithfulness to Him. "Find me faithful" was a key phrase that appeared in my mind near the end of my HA year and it's continuing to be a core theme. I want to be faithful with what He has given me in this season. I want to be faithful to Him...even just that. Whether that be with my words, with what I allow my eyes to see through movies, TV, etc, through where my priorities are, through what I hear, through it all.
Now I feel like there comes a time where you have to be able to be real with people and so you have to come down from the mountain just like Moses did. And I'm currently finding that boundary, that mark, and where I fit. I'm so thankful that the Lord is so gracious and merciful! Though Moses came down from the mountain, he didn't change who he had become to be more relevant with the Israelites. I love that! But he did meet them where they were at the bottom of the mountain. Mmm...boy! Revelation in itself!!
I feel like He is teaching me humility through this process. Boy, do I need more of it in my human nature! I was struggling with all my pent of zeal and passion and figuring out how to channel it that I just sort of flew it everywhere. I feel that one day God may use my "direct" writing style to speak Truth and open eyes but before I can do any of that I need to first be the most humble person I can be. And boy am I loving Proverbs! It's convicting me and teaching me...! I must learn to walk in humility...never once through my writing or my speech do I want the glory to come to me! And I'll admit, that's hard sometimes because you're either hearing people's approval or you're seeking people's approval! What a mess to be in! Let the glory never come to my heart, but go straight to His! I may not be, but Your grace is enough!
I may hate it at times, but I really do love the season He has me in. It's a challenge in itself but it's better I have this time to process and grow and seek before things get a bit crazier in January! I don't even know what I'm getting myself into, but again, I feel that He is teaching me to be faithful to Him and He will show His faithfulness to me even when I lack...and I will! ;)
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