God-focused

I was going to be mad. I was going to say that I give up on some friendships because they've never worked anyways. That I'm tired of the feeling of knives and of giving but getting nothing back. I was going to be all those things.

But I realize it's not about me.

The message at Journey (GREAT body of Christ!) was amazing this weekend. The pastor voiced the words that I knew was on my heart but I didn't know how to voice it. He spoke about how, if one was asked, "Do you deserve the grace of God?" the church answer would be "No." But if he was to put you on lie-detector test or something that would get down to just you and God the answer would be "Yes." In truth we as American Christians, especially, believe that we somehow are entitled to grace. We are entitled to the blessings He gives us because we love Him and we've done this and this. And when bad things happen we step back and are somehow wounded because we don't understand why. It's almost to say that when God blesses us we expect it.

The problem is in the focus. When we are focused on ourselves there is no room for God. But when we are focused on God and who He is and His purpose and His plan then we become GRATEFUL for what He has done and the blessings He provides. It's not about how He can bless us, it's how we can be a blessing to others and how we can BE the church in this world today...a light in the darkness.

And so that started my mind going. As I was going through the day with friends I heard someone wish they had something else instead of this something, whereas I thought it was an amazing gift that God had given them. And that made me start thinking...when our focus is on us we begin to pick apart all the negative things about ourselves and wish for other things while who He made us is staring at us in the face. That's exactly what happened with Adam and Eve. Satan tempted her with something she DIDN'T have! But if she would have stepped back she would have seen what she DID have! We are always wanting other things and picking apart ourselves. Meanwhile, God is sitting there saying, "Don't be deceived! I gave you those gifts, I made you that way for a reason! Go make my Name known! Just as Jesus was my Hands and Feet, now you are! So go!"

But when our focus is on God, we begin to fall in love with Him and realize His love for use in such a way that it's not about us anymore! It's about loving God and loving people. We begin to see ourselves differently because we begin to wonder what our place in making Him known is. And when he uncovers beautiful treasures that He has saved just for you everything else falls away!

I wish I had known this years ago...it would have saved me from a lot of self-hatred and hurt.

And as I was thinking on these things the Lord convicted me. With friendship. If it's not about me then it's not about me giving up on friendship and me being hurt. While yes, I can position myself differently and pray instead of give, but I can't give up on friendships. I just can't because I never want the focus to be on me me me. It's about Him and I just want to be a vessel usable and malleable.

Love God and love people. Let it never be about you. Who will you serve? Yourself? People? A church? Or God?