Would you believe me if I said I cried three times and you didn't even know?

This Masquerade
I play it so well
Getting into this stone mentality
Staring blankly into the mirror
Into those tear-filled, red eyes
At the memories of 10 minutes ago
Dry those eyes, put on that make-up

In, the well intentioned leader, walks
"Hey! ..Are you ok? It looks like you've been crying."
"I'm fine."
Turn and stare back into the mirror
Into those eyes, the eyes
that hold the need to change down underneath
but the eyes staring back are blank
they have to be, to keep "me" alive

1-2-3 more make-up
Much better. You can fool them
Even if it's not what you really want
Can they tell?
And if they can tell,
will they be persistent enough to care?
Time will tell.
For now, more make-up

--

I'm tired of this fakeness
But I can't let them see me
at less than "it"
So lost in this, this one "sin"
It's only one area of my life
and I can almost rationalize it
into what everyone goes through
But it covers me
Like Judas' cloak
Will you let this anger continue?
Will you continue hurting the people you care about?
"How are you doing?"
"Good [Horrible], how about yourself?"

How many others are walking around here trying to keep "it" together?
Is it just me?
I want someone to see it in my eyes
Something, anything
that makes them want to look at me squarely
and say "What's up?" and mean it

Break me.
I can't live like this.
These reckless, careless words
There is a difference between desiring it and doing it
I can't live two-faced
You, only, can bring me to my knees
You are Holy
And I am so unholy
You are the lifter of my head
Even when I feel like it's not worth lifting
Next to your Grace