:)

I'm gonna start a blog about Texas so all can follow my journey. woot woot.

I wish I would have bought Robbie Robison t-shirts tonight. darn it. :)

I am joyful, which is something way better than happy, because my mind COULD go to unhappy things, but I choose to be joyful in all situations. :)

This is why we do not handle things on our own. This is why God is the one that is supposed to be in control. Because even though we think we know what's best, He does, and I mean, choices, yeah, but ultimately we don't have a right to any say in most matters concerning others. Hm, idk, but I know that...God is bigger than the boogy man, he's bigger than the monsters and nah nah on T.Veee. lol, random, but yeahh. :) Pretty much not a lot besides that.

I really do hope and pray that this summer doesn't go by too fast. I'm ready for August 14 (not really.) but I do want to enjoy my summer and the people in it that mean so much to me.

I fool myself. I laugh at myself after I catch such an act, and just shake my head at my folly. But I do. I pride myself on being different, going against the grain, but the cry in my heart, the hurt in my heart, is the same as anyone else. And I react to it the same way as anyone else, which is something I will continue to work on. With a wounded soul and a heart that doesn't reach for Him. I don't cry out to God about my innermost needs and wants because I don't think it's worthy, and I don't think that I, the person that is supposed to be going against the grain, should be crying out about such things, to God who I've already committed to. So I grow saddened and faint of heart, and easily tangled up in the old landlord (Robbie term). What's making me different then all of them? Nothing. Because I'm yearning for that cheap knock-off, rather than the real thing. Tonight was recommittment, I suppose. As I get older I'm realizing more. And it's hard to see from the outside in. But I'm getting clarity in the matter so it's okay. I'll live my life. You live yours. I firmly believe that God will bless both as we both (all) yearn for Him, and as long as we live in obediance to Him and sensitive to His calling and His twists and turns. That is all I know, and I find joy in that. Oh, weight off my shoulders, how I love you.

I'm learning more about myself all the time. It's funny and I'm still.