An update, I guess. :)

I want to blog. lol, but I have no inspiration. I could finish my other ones, especially about the beauty in the preparation one that I wrote about dawn and the sunrise and looking at the clouds from the ground and coming full circle, and about how my whole life has been preparation, like dude, in all areas, but I don't feel like it. Maybe I will after I finish this post, whatever it's supposed to contain, haha, but right now I just feel like typing mindless nothings. So I guess I'll make this into an update, and then maybe it'll end up being my usual really long paragraphs-full post. :D

Well, this morning I would have much rather found myself in front of some store selling Krispy Kreme to unsuspectful victims. :P Buuut, either only the Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts are allowed (they get everything! them and their stupid cookies! haha) or they only allow charities. Walmart was just horrible to talk to. Any time I would call them or go to their store, I couldn't get anything accomplished. And Lowes Food was just a mess. Every time I would call to ask for the specific manager that I needed to talk to he was not there, and then when I found out when he'd be in we would call then, but he wasn't there. I'm trying to be like whatever, but when I think about how much is due in such a short amount of time it gets overwhelming....so I'm not going to think about this anymore. God is showing up, and that's enough.

I'm trying to move forward, just move forward, and not get paralyzed by my dreams (night and future). I just want August 14 to come, now. I'm ready to go, so ready to go. I will miss people, but the cons outweigh the pros. My heart hurts sometimes, and I don't like it. I think there are some things I'm just never going to understand. Or maybe, just right now, but that's enough to put my human self in a tizzy. (I sound like my mom - tizzy. :D)

Ok, enough of that. Uhmm, let's see...what else?! Welll, I'm pretty much DONE with high school! I have the Foods vocat on Monday, but that's IT! :) I'm glad. I'm not too sad about it, besides the fact that it means I really am growing up. When you're younger you always want to grow up, you think you are going to be so old and so grown up when you graduate from high school...but in reality...idk, I don't feel that old, I still feel like a little kid. I feel like I've been through things and came out stronger, yes, but, I don't know, what's being an adult supposed to feel like? I guess I'll have an idea come August.

I'm thinking about accountability a lot. I'm glad I have accountability, so so glad. Emily spent the night last Sunday and we stayed up till 4 in the morning just talking about everything! haha, it was fun. But we came to the conclusion that we find better solutions and find more things out about ourselves when we talk it out with someone: an elementary lesson, but good none the less. I really pray everyone has someone they have to be accountable to. I'm blessed I have more than one. I'm sorry if I haven't been a good one to some. But it's so crucial. I was talking to Dell last weekend at the beach when we were having our closing Bible study before we cleaned up to leave. I started opening up for some reason, and after giving my spill, she leaned over and was like, "or maybe it's because..." and it was like, WOW! I had never thought about it like that before! And it opened up my eyes more to how I am, and why I am the way I am. It's just so important to have someone that you tell things to and those people will ask you the tough questions. I guess I'm bad at it sometimes because sometimes when I start asking those questions, I get attacked, and so I back away. I'm sorry though.

Well, today I'm going to go try to give the clothes that I have gotten to Nicole's Closet and see what I can get. Then Starewell + Tyler's graduation party. woo! haha. :)