Friendship part 2

One other topic that God has been speaking to me a lot lately having to do with accountability in friendship is not only the sharpening of each other but of the coming along side of each other. Two major times (and maybe more) I have realized firsthand how easy it would be to start falling into depression since I've been back. I think coming from a place where I had purpose in the here-and-now and something to do every single second to coming to a place where my life is full of waiting and nothingness and seeing has taken it's toll on me.

Thankfully, I have seen time and time again God's sovereignty on my life and the fight He has given me. Just this past week and weekend, I was slowly getting worse and worse until it got to a point where my dad and mom both asked me if I was alright. I said, "Yeah, I'm fine." but I'm a pro at shutting people out when I want to. It's just been so easy to go through the motions with no real purpose besides waiting for the process to get to Thailand to start making progress. The first time I felt like that upon getting back, I got to a point where I was extremely down. I would even think mentally how easy it would be to keep going like this - to give into this depression. Later it scared the junk out of me that I could think like that, because I never have before, but it does run in my family I think. But God showed me His grace by having a sister or brother text me from TX with something encouraging. Or I would wake up the next day with so much peace and stillness or with urgency and purpose for the day.

Those moments of downcast have really shown me the importance of staying plugged in with the Body. People won't always know what's going on with you so it's important that you make the first step to ask them to keep you accountable. We need each other to go through the highs and lows with! Not only do we need them challenging us but we need them encouraging us as well and not being afraid to get into the nitty gritty of our lives!

P.S. Concerning the depression thing: I think I'm just a person that needs to feel like they are doing something of impact, even if it's something tiny. And I need to be with people that I care about. Or I need to be "in-tune" as I like to call it with friendships and feel that I can pour in and be poured into. I'm also a words person so if someone is degrading me even in a joking way or if there is a lack of approval in a big way it gets to me.

Pretty much my top two love languages are quality time and words of affirmation and when I'm getting the opposite of both for a long period of time, it's not the best. But I'm really trying to practice living by the Truth and not by feelings. Are we girls just wired this way, to feel feel feel?! :D