Open hands, trust, and a lunch bag.

Open hands is quite the symbolism, isn't it? It represents and means so much. It symbolizes letting go, surrender, helplessness, pleads, and so much more.

He's really teaching me to live with open hands. Tonight's connect group was off the chain. :D We talked about the miracle of Jesus feeding the thousands with a small boy's lunch. But we focused on the boy and his lunch the most. Erin passed out brown paper bags and then a white slip of paper. With the paper we were to write what we were praying for, our desires, our dreams, etc. We then ripped each piece off and put it in the brown paper bag. She then explained how the boy's lunch was his need for the day and similar to us it's what we're hoping for, our desires, what we want for our lives. It can be a great thing that God has put inside of us or a thing we just want and desire ourselves. And she explained how we could go through life clutching the bag while we do everything else. We try to do our normal tasks or try to live out our dreams while still clutching onto our lunch bag. It begins to be hard to do everything else when we're clutching so tightly to something else.

But then, like with the little boy, Jesus asks us to give it to Him. This was a turning point for me even though I knew it was coming. Things I had written down and were safely tucked away in my lunch bag in my hands were falling into place in my head. Our desires, our dreams, our hopes, our everything will only be usable in His hands. We hold onto them saying, "Ok, God, you've given this to me and some of these I just want. I'll take it from here! Thanks for everything and keep giving me these things but I got it!" But God is saying, "No, give them to me. You have no idea what I want to do with them! Some of these I will give to you, some of these I will throw away, and some of these I will trade in for things you would have never dreamed of. Stop trying to clutch on to things. Trust me and I will work them out. Listen to me and open your hands so I can fill you and from your hands will flow My power and mine alone! I want to teach you to live with open hands for the rest of your life."

Whew, that was something else for me altogether. I have been a wreck these last few months. Not always to the extreme but always atleast slightly and in some area. But He is teaching me to live with open hands. I have dreams and desires that I want to play out but I don't know how or when or if I'm doing it right. And I have been realizing that He has been keeping me from one dream because I'm holding onto tiny other things, trying to make them work in my hands. Tonight opened my eyes. I want Him to take it all, I want Him to fix it and work it out in His timing, for His glory.

I don't have much to give in my little lunch bag, but when handed to Him, He could feed the thousands!