The need to be accountable

I woke up this morning after having a dream. It was a pretty random one: I was hanging out with one of my brothers from the HA that I haven't talked to since. I was asking him how it had been for him after the HA and he said it had been hard because he was struggling with some of the things he had struggled with before. I asked him if he had anyone that he went to about it and he shrugged it off saying how he just kept it to himself, etc, etc.

I woke up with the increasing need for accountability. I think what scares us the most about accountability is that in the back of our minds we have this pre-conceived picture of what a "picture-perfect" Christian looks like, someone that has it all together, always smiling, and ready to help the "heathen" next door. But that is not what I consider to be Christianity at all. A believer is authentic because they know how unworthy they are if it hadn't been for their Savior. We are no better than the next guy, we have just been saved by grace and therefore given the well-being to become sanctified and set apart, holy because we are loved by God. But this happens from the inside-out not the outside-in.

Accountability shakes everything that can be shaken when it's done right. Another reason we don't apply it is because it affects the very hidden core of us: our pride. Sharing your faults with someone requires you to become vulnerable and admit to your fallen nature. There is nothing that will get rid of pride more than having someone know your dirt and ask you about it on a regular basis. ;) You also have to know what you are struggling with to be able to have someone hold you accountable. A lot of the time we can hide these things even from ourselves, or just sweep it under the rug acting like it's smaller than what it is.

This brings us to our relationship with Christ. The more we are seeking Him, the more malleable we become and the more He will show us the broken things in our lives. This is why sometimes it feels that as soon as we have an encounter with God or a breakthrough with Him - or we have just started seeking Him more, things start to get tough. We end up asking God, "Why is this happening??" It is because we have given ourselves over to Him and HE is shaking everything that can be shaken inside of us so that we come out of the fire refined and set apart for Him. This is why I find so much beauty in brokenness. It brings us to the end of ourselves and humbled in front of an amazing God who is there to pick us back up again.

God will help us in this process, but we must also be willing to have others get into the nit and gritty with us because I won't lie, it hurts. Take exercising for example, I recently asked someone to hold me accountable to exercising because I know that with where I am at right now it's hard to self-motivate myself. I went into it thinking, "Great, I'm going to have someone hold me accountable about this - this is gonna rock!" It did...until she began to ask me if I had exercised... Then it started to hurt because I had to say that no, I had not. But you know what? I have exercised since!

This is just a small example, it goes so much deeper than exercising. The point is that it hurts when someone holds you accountable. After a while, your flesh even wants to get mad at them and say, "Psh, this person is asking about my business but what about theirs??" We have to guard against those kinds of thoughts because they are just doing their job and judging by the response, doing it well. ;)

I also understand that in leadership you can't spill every little thing to the people under you. You begin to lose a certain dose of credibility as a leader because they may feel they can't come to you. (On a side note, I also believe that you can share a generalized bit of it to those under you because it knocks you off the pedastil that they may have created for you or that you have created for yourself.) There is a saying that says, "You can't pour out if you haven't been poured into." I also believe, "You can't pour out anything good if you haven't poured out the bad." It is essential as a leader to have someone that you confess things to and that challenges you while knocking the pride out of your life. If that is taking place it will become more easier to know what to confess to those under you and what to not.

This has been stirring inside of me since I left the Honor Academy. It's funny that it takes a dream to spark it again. I would ask yourself first off, because it's a two-fold deal, how your relationship with Christ is. It's easy for things to stay hidden if His light isn't exposing it. You must seek Him before all. Then ask yourself if you have someone in your life that is keeping you accountable (guys for guys and girls for girls in the bigger areas because other factors play into it, and there are just certain things that you shouldn't tell the opposite gender). For instance, I had a brother in Christ hold me accountable that I wouldn't be lazy ;) and that I would do more in a day while I have a more stable accountability sister that holds me accountable to more of the deeper things, such as taking thoughts captive, etc etc.

I also have a huge heart for this to become more seen in Churches...especially youth groups. I think if we can get this generation to grasp the concept of accountability there will be far less going on under our noses and more steadfast young believers in the faith. I even have a picture of what it could look like! It makes me excited :D

Accountability. It's a hard but wonderful thing. :)